CHEROKEE NATION—Having dropped out of the presidential race, Elizabeth Warren rode in solitude back to her reservation, having failed to take the land back from the pale faces.
“I am sorry, my people. I have failed,” she said somberly, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “The white man still holds our land, and the very trees cry out against them. May Great Spirit grant us another chance in 4 harvests.” The Cherokee people looked confused, so she clarified: “That means years according to the Indian talk book I picked up.”
The Cherokee expressed mixed emotions at seeing Warren return, from “Who are you?” to “How many times do we have to tell you that if you’re not gonna play some slots at the casino, then you’re gonna need to leave?”
An Illinois park has reported no crimes since they took down basketball hoops in August last year in an effort to deter criminals following a few summer shootings at late-night basketball games.
It has been reported that there is currently no intention to bring back the hoops at the Rock Island park.
Now, Lincoln Park has now been dubbed a “quiet area” by neighbors, whose opinions concerning the hoops have been polarized.
According to WQAD, police confirmed that no crimes have been reported in the six months since the decision to take down the hoops.
Gun violence was reported to police following late-night games in August 2018, and May and August 2019, prompting the removal, as police patrols had to be increased in the area to reduce violent episodes and vulgar behavior.